at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
