she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
