question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
