I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
