ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
