yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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