i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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