never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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