just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
