I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
