I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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