"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
