am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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