Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In other news, I just burned my penis
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
