i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
