he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
