i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
