we made out on top of his cat.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
