What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
