Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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