Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
