I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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