They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
