Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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