OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
