hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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