ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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