your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
