i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
