they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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