Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
