He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
