Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
