I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
