Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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