Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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