You're so nebulous sometimes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can you bring me the toilet please
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
