I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
