when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
