I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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