Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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