before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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