So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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