Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
