Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
