at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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