Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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