The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
