ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
