I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
